Thanks included. Giving sold separately.
It’s a wonder, in the grand scheme of cosas, how any given day can become a giving day. We’re all thankful for that, I know. As well as poultry and mashed tubers and sweet tubers and casseroles and jellies and pumpkins that made it through the ghoulish gauntlet of our last holiday and veggie dip spreads and properly set tables and wine and beer and foot and ball and handshakes and secret cigarettes behind the shed and movie night and loose belts and gluttony and pilgrims and Injuns and an eerie lack of telemarketers and that shitty Charlie Brown thanksgiving episode some d-bags made in 2001.
Now, I think that I possibly could maybe qualify that understand that you know that I know what you’re thinking – A few glasses of boxed white wine puts us all on the same page. You’re thinking that here comes some rantish, pedantic, liberalese blog about how crappy the charade of thanksgiving day, or any pilgrimaniacal, pseudo-christian holiday really is. That if we all would just peer beneath our imperialistic, genocidal, ignorant turkey skin we’d see the hollow shell of it all. Well, it could be – and there would be some justice in that mind you – but its not.
As an [um]maculate child of Thanksgiving day I can honestly declare that this day of thanks and giving (and Lions football) is my favorite holly-day of them all. Even more than the solstice/christ day coming soon to a black friday near you. Okay, so maybe it is a little rantish. So thank me…You have to
This also has nothing to do with the fact that I was recently fresh squeezed out of my thirty-first year on this Planet Human and this is the first thanksgiving in that prime number that I’ve spent TD alone, although not without TDs; just none (sorry, one) for the Lions. Remember that without this alone time I never would’ve written this gem…so curse or bless yourself as you see fit. Thank you.
If you’ve stuck with me through the preceding self-indulgent paragraphs perhaps you’ll stick around for what this little blog is really about. And let’s face it, if we truly want to be bare-naked-stripped-down-thankful, it’s important to work through the vain self-indulgence that we layer ourselves up like condoms around Sarah Palin with on a daily basis in our materialistic and superficial culture of web-based personality. That being accomplished, I want to send my love and thanks along to you all the only way I can think to do it from a cul-de-sac in the big city – through this my (not so) daily blog and with words arranged in a way that I hope no one else has arranged them before. Although I’m poor so I’ll likely try to sue you first (right after my doctor).
So
da
pop:
To my lover, my friends, my family.
The trinity of true grace.
You, my lover, embody the reasons for thankfulness.
Your striped seventies socks, deliciously almost-curly hair, and endlessly perfumed neck
are a dream to me.
Your spectacles, my testacles, your wallet and watch
(at least I have something to offer)
are an excellent match.
When the little X’s and the little O’s come together, I think of you.
You, family, are my godsends
keeping me close across mountains rivers avalanches towers armaments
plains planes hummocks hammocks and acres and acorns.
It’s funny that oak trees seem to grow everywhere. That is our tree.
We still have four generations shuffling on this mortal coil
and I am quite thankful for that.
Our freckles obvious tan lines technicolored hair chicken legs and turkey thighs
all speak to our supreme awesomeness. I love
the way we can instantly rally around, whether it be a white dress or a casket.
There is love in that, uncompromised by mile markers and toll roads.
Be sure that it is love that creates both thanks and giving
two things families exude without fail and without question.
Thank you family.
Friends, you are family found.
You too conquer distances
proudly parading your faces in my book
across wires that aren’t wires but still transmit.
You have the unique ability to be old or new
and the same age as me either way.
Some are akin to newspapers, some to interwebs
some go back to wine coolers, others to Jameson
a few go back and forth.
At this moment, on this blue couch
in the vicinity of a tower fan on low
blowing air like radio waves into the wet night,
I am surrounded by friends.
You are a place to sleep live and whack time
You are an extra large umbrella
a roadside campsite
you are polyunsatured coolness, non-hydrogenated sweetness
all natural friendliness.
For you, friends, I am thankful
For you, family, I am thankful
For you, lover, I am thankful.
And now it’s Friday…so Fuck Off!!
sincerely,
dgh



w International Version (NIV) was written on a seventh grade reading level and therefore is too dumbed-down, insulting to the intelligence of our Bible-thumping youth.
Together India and China contain about one-third of the world’s population, all of whom will soon have access to solar feed-in tariffs. Note that both countries are part of the developing world. Where is the so-called developed world? The majority of Europe’s roughly 300 million people have feed-in tariff incentives available to them. But the United States, that country with five percent of the global population while consuming 25 percent of its energy, still lacks even a climate change plan.